In today’s world, no one seems to want an authentic connection anymore. I’m feeling the weight of the sugar coated Facebook and Instagram posts and if I am not online, then I am surrounded by people swimming in the sea while holding selfie sticks to capture and post the moment.
I haven’t posted anything here for quite some time. I also stopped reading other people’s blogs too. Why? I promised myself that I would try to keep the content here positive, light and fun and well, my life stopped being any of those things quite some time ago.
From an outside perspective, I have a beautiful life. Quirky. Never dull. Adventurous. I have struggled to always maintain that the glass can be refilled too. Optimism should be my friend.
But, my reality tells a different story. What was once a jokey approach to my situation here in Italy has become a sad tale of multiple disappointment. The ugly side of what appears to be a beautiful life.
My survival mode kicked in and I shuttered myself away from the world. Poured myself into dreams that seem to always be beyond my grasp while the Universe keeps kicking me hard down a staircase and I am still scratching my head wondering why?
Here is another dose of reality. My muse, my mother-in-law, and I no longer speak to each other. While I always tried to see the lighter side of her ways and culture, in the end, my capacity to laugh was depleted.
I won’t bore you with the drama or the hurt I felt by her choice words for me. The damage is done and you cannot go back. Sadly, this is not the only situation in recent years where my presense seems to be unwelcome. So, I am very much out here in this beautiful life alone. I feel like I have no family, no foundation and am lost at sea.
So, in a nutshell, I’m not really sure where this blog is going anymore and I am thinking of shutting it down but before I do, I just wanted to reach out to whoever has stuck it out with me here. My readers have been awesome and patient and inspiring.
I thank all of you for riding this crazy rollercoaster with me! It was fun while it lasted but perhaps time to move on.