Galliera, Gaslini and now Gallino. Yes, these are all names of hospitals here in Genoa.
First, Galliera always trips me up because the name is similar to the Italian word for tunnel, which is galleria. If I ever get sick, please don’t ever bring me here. Tunnels freak me out and I have seen the bedside manner at this place and I never want to be in a position where I hear voices telling me to follow the light at the end of the tunnel!
Second is the Gaslini. If you know anything about the Italian language you’ll know that they like to put ‘ini’ at the end of their words to make the noun smaller. For example, piccolomini, means ‘little man’ or maybe that is little men, stop confusing me! Anyway, because my brain works in mysterious ways, I always think that perhaps all they do there is deal with people who have a ‘little gas’ and they don’t do much else.
Then we have my new favourite, Gallino. In Italian this literally means hen or chicken, again, what’s the difference? I sucked at Farmville, but my best guess is that they are both females but one lays eggs and the other you BBQ 🙂 Am I close?
So, this week I had to get a boob exam, yes, that’s right, a fancy boob job. Wait! No, not like as in make them bigger, but take photos of them. NOT THOSE KINDS OF PHOTOS! Sheesh! Where was I?
Oh yes, the mammogram, which at first I thought was just an old granny delivering me a nice letter addressed to “Ma’am’ because nobody here knows how to spell my name. But it turns out, it was an ultrasound of the girls.
The funny part about all of this was when the technician decided to squeeze out the gel with all the force her tiny technician fingers could draw upon…I felt the cold goo land somewhere near my ear! I am pretty sure she missed her target.
Once my exam was complete I hopped off the table and wiped all the gooey substance from my chest but forgot about my ear….I wish I was making this shit up but I swear I’m not. Completely dressed, I sat waiting in the lobby for my results and ran a hand through my hair…and this was the result…
Considering this was a hospital named after a chicken, I suppose things could have ended a lot worse than this!