I was sure that I would be riding a euphoric high after passing my exam that would last for days but instead I find myself crashing into an anti-climatic funk. Perhaps it’s because living here is an endless struggle and that I know that with every victory there will be a new hurdle to jump. Italy never seems to let up and I find myself exhausted trying to keep up.
After five years, the end of the tunnel is nowhere in sight. Maybe being cooped up for five months with this heavy burden of the exam has knocked some of the happiness from my life and it will take some time to recouperate. Maybe because I have not seen my husband for four months has also played a role too.
There is a saying that goes something like “a success is better when shared” and he is not here to share in my joy of passing the exam.
But mostly, I am tired of living my life in Survival Mode…