I’ve seriously got Zip Zen

louboutin-pigalle11me Dreamsmenopause It probably won’t come as a shock to you when I tell you that I have nicknamed my yoga teacher the “Yoga Nazi”. Every Tuesday, I willingly allow this woman to physically torture and embarrass me for a full hour. But it’s really okay because I’m her English teacher and payback’s a bitch ain’t it? (I wonder what her nickname for me is…Mary Satan Poppins?)

Deciding to minimize my weekly humiliation, I try to do ten minutes of stretching every morning. I know, ten minutes is hardly a huge commitment but for me it seems like a lifetime. So there I am this morning on my neon green Wii yoga mat when Coco struts by and does a perfect, graceful stretch in front of me. I don’t care if it’s cold and windy, you are being banished to the balcony for ten minutes, you little fur-ball show off!

Again, I try the breathing and get instantly bored. I roll over and all I can see are dust bunnies under the furniture. Hmmm, it’s only 7:00 a.m., is it too early to vacuum? Ten minutes just fly by…not really. I’m starting to think that my Zen has got no Zip and that I really seriously suck at this. Let’s face it, I’m much more at peace kicking the shit out of a soccer ball 🙂

On another note, I really suck at dieting too (I challenge anyone to try and diet in this country!). Perhaps if I owned a scale I would be better at it, but I own a yoga mat and that didn’t do squat for my squats so I might as well just save my money.

I went to a fancy party last week and beforehand I tried to buy a new dress so I didn’t have to lose weight to fit into an old one. That was a bust, so then I started searching for new shoes, which in fact I actually need. But the rain and a busy schedule, and the fact that most good shoe shops close mid-day, put a halt to my shopping. And truthfully, all I can do is drool over Christian Louboutins which start at 600 Euros and I simply cannot afford my own caviar standards *le sigh*

Two days before the party and I am still chunky and shoe-less. So, I did what every intelligent woman does in my situation, and I went straight to the MAC cosmetics store and bought 130 Euros worth of new make-up 🙂 Note in the photo above how I cropped the bottom half off of the pic which gets a bit wider in the middle, teehee. Oh, and can you see my new vitamins? No, no Louboutins for me…just menopause pills please, maybe the red soled shoes tomorrow.

About lmarmstrong66

I'm a blogger, painter, writer, singer. For the love of all things in nature and creativity.
This entry was posted in Teaching English and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to I’ve seriously got Zip Zen

  1. katecrimmins says:

    You are so beautiful no one will notice your bare feet!

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