Seventeen years ago, while I was in the throws of
passion infertility treatments and seriously thought about going postal, it was probably a good thing I didn’t live in Italy at that time because I was already on the edge of sanity and Italy has a way of just pushing that last button a bit too far.
Anyway, I decided to enroll in a yoga class at the local community centre. It was in one of those vast rooms with gymnasium ceilings and smelled a bit like hockey socks but nevertheless, I needed something to calm me down and align my baby making chakras. The type of yoga was called ‘Hatha’ for which I had no clue what that meant. “I ‘hatha’ go pee”, “I ‘hatha’ put my elbows where?” and so on.
Clearly the ” ‘hatha’ make a baby” vibes didn’t quite reach the appropriate baby making chakra, so I just started drinking wine instead (FYI- that didn’t work either but I was drunk enough not to care anymore).
Yesterday, I decided to give yoga another go. Not because I want a baby, it took a lot of wine, but I’m finally over that, but because I want to be like Bendy Barbie. Well, actually, my husband would probably like that, but seriously, the real reason is arthritis. I know…booo, I just disappointed all my male readers, sorry.
I’m 47 and I have chronic back pain. I carry a load of books for work and am hopping on and off buses with at least 6 books in my backpack on any given day. I get massages quite often and this does wonders for me but I feel as though I should be doing something more on the side of prevention. My dad has terrible arthritis which means I am a likely candidate for the same if I don’t smarten up.
So, I am now enrolled in a fancy, downtown yoga centre that doesn’t smell anything like hockey socks. But let me tell you, this is no ‘hatha’ joke. This is some serious bendy stuff and I saw myself falling over pathetically and praying for the hour to end quickly. This is going to take a lot of work! Maybe I should just buy more wine and get over my Bendy Barbie ambitions just like I did with the baby shit seventeen years ago, eh?