When the taxi pulls into the driveway mid-afternoon I am full of anticipation. I can hear the familiar roll of suitcase wheels as he launches the elevator to arrive at our door. Finally home, the routine commences. We embrace and chat. We eat. We nap. He unpacks…that snap snapping of the suitcase opening and closing while I shuffle around trying to make space for his things.
I wish I knew other wives that had the same lifestyle as me. Maybe someone whose husband is stationed far away in the army, although I don’t know if that can be compared to a husband stationed on a cruise ship. If my husband was in the army I think I would go crazy with worry.
We don’t have kids and I don’t live nearby any other wives of sailors. It is a solitary life and Coco is my lifeline to sanity. Although lately she has been driving me insane because she has finally managed to get her big butt onto the balcony rail and is doing a balancing act that hardly impresses me!
My point is this. I live my life the best I can and try to smell the roses often, but there comes a time when I want my husband by my side too. As much as intellectually I understand and accept my fate as a sailor’s wife, my heart has a different take on things.
The strange part is, no matter how long we have been together or how many times we have done this routine I always get emotional (yes, I am a woman). I have this strange built up resentment towards him for being gone so long and it takes me a few days to really relax and shelve my anger. I know it’s not his fault but I am angry anyway. It’s like four months of struggling through Italian living has caught up to me and I want someone else to pick up the slack so I can let out my breath.
This contract was especially long because he was promised by his employer that he would be home in July for my sister’s visit and then the company reneged on the deal. (Insert angry wife remarks here) I am told that this is also part of the ‘package’ of being married to a sailor…companies break their promises and we are left having to accept this because we are in an economic crisis, blah, blah, blah.
There are pros and cons to every lifestyle. Certainly we don’t get incredibly bored with each other because we are not together 24/7. But not having that person to meet at home every night to share a meal and your day with also takes its’ toll. It’s day four that my husband has been home and I am finally starting to relax a bit.
Now, if I can only figure out a way to keep Fatass Coco off the balcony rail all would be right with the world again!