Potty breaks aren’t my thing…can I get a raise please?


I seriously don't get paid enough to look this ridiculous...

When I first started teaching I was very reluctant to take on kids courses. In fact, I took on a small tot in a private lesson once and the sweet little four-year-old monster threw a plastic chair at my head! Was it something I said?

Fast forward with four years of teaching under my belt and it was inevitable that I could not ignore these ankle-biters forever. Slowly, my employers coaxed me into taking on some courses. My first foray with three little girls from hell turned me into a Tuesday night drinker.

These eight-year-olds were my worst nightmare. I even had to confiscate a mobile phone or two just to get them to pay attention. All I could think of every week was God give me the strength to get through this next hour and then I would promptly medicate with a glass or two of Merlot to top off the day.

Then I got two, very sweet five-year-old boys and it wasn’t so bad. It was even a bit fun as we danced to “Robot gym” songs. Hey, this is a piece of cake! Perhaps the younger they are the better. And, in a controlled classroom with some groovy music and crafts it could even, dare I say, be easy money.

Onward and upward I went, this year I took on a group of five kids all between the ages of four and five. I had a screamer who cried at every lesson and another one who had a constant runny nose. Oh dear, is this going to be another Merlot night? Maybe. But no, it wasn’t. I was challenged to get the crier to stop and kept a good stock of tissue on hand for the sniffly one. (It may be worth noting that next year I plan to get the flu shot because I got sick three times this year no thanks to the germbots)

This past Friday was my last lesson with the kids. I was genuinely happy it was finishing but also a bit sad it was coming to an end, until that is, Filippo announced he had a tummy ache. My first thought was please don’t puke in my class kid, I’m on the final leg of this tour! When he agreed to let me take him the toilet I was panic-stricken with what to do with him. Do I need to take his pants down. Nope. Do I need to supervise him? Sort-of. Did I need to you know…do the toilet paper thing? Oh! There’s his mom! Thank God…he’s in there.

But wait! The hour is not up yet! Another one has to go to the toilet…here we go again. And, yes, a third one too! With five minutes left to the lesson I had two more in the toilet and boy was I ever relieved to see their moms show up 🙂

So, luckily I was saved by the bell and more potty break episodes just in time because honestly dear, I don’t get paid enough to wipe your kids…you know what.

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About lmarmstrong66

I'm a blogger, painter, writer, singer. For the love of all things in nature and creativity.
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