Sometimes in life we just have to sit back and wait. I’m not the most patient person in the world so I truly get the cosmic joke God has placed on my lap by making me choose to live in a country where if you sit back and wait thirty Italians will butt in front of you and you will never reach your goal! You’d think this place would be my paradise then.
But which is better? To be optimistic and hold on to the idea that your turn will come soon only to have the clerk shut the window curtain in your face or to have a “me first” attitude that gets the job done but leaves one feeling triumphant but alone? My lack of patience meanders like a mouse on the floorboards looking for scraps of cheese. I am clearly no match for the aggressive Italian mentality and I find myself flailing my arms in frustration to no avail. Do I want to become like them? Is this a necessary adjustment I must make to survive and thrive here?
I’m Canadian. We’re polite. It’s just part of our culture. I wear that badge proudly and unless it wasn’t so friggin’ cold there I would probably be living there instead of Italy. But now I’m not so sure that I made the right choice. Just like anyone who has been here but never lived here, I glamorized the idea of being amongst the olive groves and fashion divas of the world. The contrasts were irresistible to my inexperienced mind.
Have the rose-coloured glasses finally come off? I have a few readers that dream of being in my place and yet I find myself exchanging emails with them about the harsh realities of life in Italy. By no means would I ever intend to squash someone else’s dreams, I mean, just because artichokes give me gas doesn’t mean the rest of the world will get gas too!
I still like Italy, but when I go back to North America I find myself more relaxed and at ease. I’ve started to notice a familiar pattern and instead of feeling excited to be returning to Italy there is a sense of dread of what battles lie ahead. Albeit, my circumstances are also unique because my husband is not here with me. This combination of dread has left me with a sense of confusion and disorientation and I am at a loss on how to cope with it all.
It’s not just the jet lag, it’s like going from driving a school bus to driving a Maserati. Which gear do I use to get to where I want to go safely? I found this website today and I am hoping that it’s a road sign to help point me in the right direction…http://www.globalcitizencoaching.com/
As for today’s plan, the rain washed out my olive picking party so I guess I will just drink the 12 pack of beer alone and watch the kidnapped farmer’s cat chase geckos in my living room. Ohhhh when will the glamour ever end?