Of all the people in this super conservative region of Italy how did I end up with chain-smoking nudists as neighbours?
Our house is a historical villa which has been, over the years, added onto and divided into smaller living spaces. All in all, there are five units. Below us there is the empty space owned by another family member, then the crazy wood stealing farmer with his wife and 3 cats.
Many years ago there was an addition to the villa on the West wall. It was believed to be much cheaper to add-on to an existing structure and the more people in the area meant more assistance with farming. These small communities benefitted by having close neighbours. But now the opposite is true. There is more value to your property if you have less neighbours and hardly anyone farms the land anymore.
There is a family on the bottom half who have a very large dog and then there is a small apartment in the back upper half which just happens to be on the same side as our kitchen window. Our bedroom above also looks down on this tiny apartment. Luckily, the owners live in Torino and they only come here on the occasional summer weekend. However…
…they are both in their late 60’s and they seem to take offense to wearing clothes outdoors! Not only that, but they sit outside all day chain-smoking and drinking Vodka. The wife is out there pruning roses and all I can think of is that’s a bit risky business to be doing naked don’t you think?
Before you jump to any crazy perverted conclusions, no, I am not secretly spying on them. I’ll admit to some boredom up here from time to time but give me some credit eh. In fact, I have had to close our kitchen window to stop the smoke from stinking up the house and keep my appetite in tact. The husband clearly has some sort of affliction and is constantly coughing up a lung. Not an appetizing sound effect I can assure you.
As I am chasing away lizards from our upstairs bedroom window I get a full moon in broad daylight that I would much rather have skipped. If I was ever invited over for an aperitif I would surely not want to sit down on any of their deck chairs either. I’m really not a prude, and in fact I love the freedom of being naked, but up here with all these critters and bugs I’d be a tad bit nervous about getting an insect bite in one of my more delicate areas! How do you explain that to the pharmacist in Italian without hand gestures and the risk of insulting them I wonder?