Social outcast


I’ve finally come out of my winter coccoon only to find that everyone is scattered about for the summer. I guess instead of hiding under the warmth of my fuzzy bed I should have been braving the cold, damp winter and planting the necessary seeds for a social life.

I can’t help it really, I’ve always been a late bloomer and I loathe the cold weather. In fact, I’ll admit, there are very few people I even like to spend time with so making the effort in the cold dead of winter just never seems worth it to me. But I’ve also realized that just like my personality, I don’t seem to fit in anywhere either. I’m too young to be sewing quilts and too old to be hanging out at the bars all night.

Without kids, play dates with other mom’s are non-existent for me. Then of course there is also the fact that I don’t even fit in with other couples most of the year because although I am part of a couple, my other half is hardly ever here, so I also get passed over for social events that are usually with other couples.

I finally decided to join the “American International Women’s Club of Genoa” and even they are taking a summer break. I managed to squeeze into a few of their Spring events but I’m still not sure if this is my cup of tea either. Sure, they seem nice enough, but most of these women have been with this association for ten years or more, I feel a bit out of my depth with it all as obviously they have formed a bit of a “clique”  and I know only too well how hard it can be sitting in with my friends of 30 years…you just can never catch up with that kind of history between other women.

My first ‘social outing’ was a charity wine tasting. Drinking wine for charity seems like a pretty good combination to me, I was more than happy to do my part. The next outing was a morning of “Tombola” and lunch, not sure if I have spelled this correctly, but basically it’s Italian BINGO. Not exactly high on my entertainment scale of things to get out of bed before 10 for, but I made the effort anyways. It was an okay affair, but again, I felt a bit out of place. I’m more of a one on one kind of person I guess.

Once I did find myself engaged in a pleasant conversation I was abruptly interrupted and introduced to some chain-smoking Italian woman who spoke fluent English. There are a few native Italian’s who are also members of this club and I couldn’t help but notice that they were the one’s smoking like chimneys. One lady hardly put her fork down between puffs.

Just like a lotus grows in the mud, a truffle and mushroom also grow in dark, dank corners of the field. I just read Goldie Hawn’s autobiography of the same name and I think just as she described it, beautiful things can grow out of the darkest corners. Perhaps I just need to be patient a bit longer before my social petals will unfold one by one, just like the lotus.

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About lmarmstrong66

I'm a blogger, painter, writer, singer. For the love of all things in nature and creativity.
This entry was posted in Italian Culture, Nature. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Social outcast

  1. Elora says:

    There’s an MAerican club? How come you know about all these things and I don’t!!!!

  2. Enrico says:

    I have the same problem, i think living in another country, speak 2 languages, and have problems different from everybody else are some of the causes. When i hang out with old friends for example, i find talking about new cell phones, soccer, politics, very boring… I hand out a lot with expats, i think we are wired differently…

  3. Yes, Enrico, I think you’re correct about that. When I go back to Canada I have a core group of friends that I love to hang out with but I lose the thread when they start talking about local TV shows and stuff like that.

    I like the way you put it…we’re wired differently, haha. That’s explains a lot…thx, now I won’t need therapy! You have solved the rubix cube : )

  4. Meagan says:

    Wow… A post that could have been ripped from the pages of my life!!! Moving back to the US has been the worst expirence of my life… My “wiring” must have a blown fuse. Even after living in a country, in a remote area with a small population, I never felt lonely… But now I live 30mins from the town I grew up in, surrounded by thousands of people and have never felt more isolated. I thought having a kid would help but it hasn’t… I don’t find conversations about dirty diapers, weekly meal planning or house cleaning particularly engaging!!

    It’s a shame we’re so far apart… 2 more years and we’ll be moving to Spain (I hope) we’ll have to plan a get away for the “wierdly wired”!!

    Till then… Meg

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