8 Days


The title of this post should really be 1 day, because in 1 day my husband will be home. Poor sod! In 1 day he will be jet lagged and exhausted from working 4 months straight and all he will really want is some of Mama’s cooking and a bed that has a thick mattress. And of course warm cuddles from his wife!

But I am using the title 8 days to sum up the last 4 months of my marriage. Yes, that’s right, 8 days! I’ve officially logged more time with Mama than my husband. This is not a post to complain about my marriage, it’s more a post to make an observation. What’s the secret recipe to a perfect marriage?

I know I am certainly not the only mermaid out here waiting for her sailor to come home. I often think about those wives or husbands, whose spouses are in the Army serving their countries. What about them? How do they survive the long distances? Not to mention the fear of them not returning at all? My sister-in-law is a police officer and even though my brother shares the same house with his wife I know he hates it when she goes to work period! (and he is hardly the old-fashioned type)

8 days is not enough…everyday, well, let’s not get carried away. But how do we find the right balance? As I watch Mama spin salt instead of sugar into her Bimby everyday I must have hope that somehow my quality of life is going to change for the better in the not too distant future. And that hopefully that future includes a lot more time with my husband, otherwise, why did we get married? Wasn’t the whole idea so that we could be “together”?

I have met a few “Officer’s wives” and they seem to come from 2 different schools. 1. they have kids and are too busy to think about their husbands much, or 2. they stay on board the ship for long stretches of time sunning themselves, or shopping ashore buying Rolex watches or wandering about the ship like lost puppies. Option 1 is out, and option 2, well, I would like to maintain what few brain cells I have left after 8 years in the Caribbean! Can someone please come up with a #3 option?

I’m listening…

 (FYI: I’ve already considered running off with my dentist but I haven’t broken any teeth lately so he has probably forgotten all about me by now…oddly enough though my husband must be reading my blog because last night he asked me how my tooth was! lol)

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About lmarmstrong66

I'm a blogger, painter, writer, singer. For the love of all things in nature and creativity.
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6 Responses to 8 Days

  1. On the basis that the only way to spend more time with him is to be where he is….how about being where he is, but with a purpose of your own ?

    That could either be a job on board (if that is possible), or spending your time focused on your own pursuits.

    In that position my preference would be distance study, specifically a degree.

    Although I may be assuming an internet connection is possible on a ship.

    Obviously shaped to fit you it would have to be a pursuit that you really wanted to focus on, rather than a pursuit for the sake of having a pursuit to ward off the “lost puppyitus”.

    Is there any interest, hobby, language or subject you’d like to develop that wouldn’t depend on regular supplies from dry land ?

    Could you do it part time ?

    i.e. go on alternate “postings” with him, one on board the next at home with Mama ?

  2. Katja says:

    Sarah beat me to it – my suggestion would be to find work on his ship. I appreciate that you probably don’t want to go back to doing what you were doing before, but you could always beat him at his own game and become a Captain. 😉

  3. Ladies, thank you for your input. I have actually had many jobs onboard and have considered going back. The tricky part is getting the same ship and same length contract etc. Not an easy task! And I am not willing to sell my soul for it either.
    But on the other hand I do like Sarah’s comment about continuing my education. I have in the past studied Italian onboard, they have a great resource centre. The tough part is getting motivated…being onboard sucks the life out of you. Something that is hard to convey if you have never experienced it firsthand.
    The Internet connection is also extremely slow and limited which just adds to my misery, but at least I have a laptop and can go to a cyber cafe ashore. I just have to be more strict with my goals before I get onboard and stay focused.

  4. “The tough part is getting motivated…being onboard sucks the life out of you.”

    I understand that absolutely. How about creating set goalposts like taking Italian IGCSE or A level or degree so you know you have to be ready by the exam date ?

    We could even form a “Yes we is learning Italian and we is blog peeps too” email group to chivvy each other along.

    I am getting it in the neck from some the Italian home educators who do not appreciate my garbled contributions to the group, so I am up for a friendly online clan to stop me descending into perpetual procrastination.

    • Oh Sarah, you are talking way over my head, but I like your attitude, I hope your energy is contageous too : )
      Tell me more about what you know on the subject, i.e. websites, learning centers etc. I am intrigued and perhaps it will give me something to focus on…I am a true Aquarian with lofty goals and wishy washy work ethics, haha.
      My private email is lmarmstrong66@hotmail.com.
      Thx, Leah

  5. “I am a true Aquarian with lofty goals and wishy washy work ethics, haha”

    Meet your twin,LOL, which is why I thought of creating a group

    ohhh look ! I just made one……http://groups.yahoo.com/group/expatsinitalylearningitalian/

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