Have you ever wondered what your future self would be like? I can certainly say that I had no idea that I would be living an ocean away from home and speaking (or bastardizing) a foreign language. So I have to wonder then what exactly do the next 40 years have in store for me? Will I still be living in Italy with Mama?
Today is my 44th birthday. Yeah, happy birthday to me, yadda, yadda, yadda. I never thought I would be one of those people who didn’t want to celebrate my birthday, but in fact, I sorta am now. Perhaps because I am now over 40 it just seems closer to 50 than to 25. And, mathematically speaking, well Duh, it is!
Birthdays are quite often a time to reflect on where you have been and where you are going. What have I accomplished so far if anything? Well, to be honest, I know where I’ve been, but haven’t much of an idea at the moment where I am going. I’m just ‘here’.
A friend once said to me to just “BE”. I was always the kind of person who was working towards something, had to have goals and deadlines. So for someone to say this to me was like being hit over the head with a brick. BE? How does one DO that exactly?
But, what that friend said to me was a great gift. That one word changed my life forever. Now, I don’t worry so much about tomorrow. If I am in a bad mood today, I try to just “be” in that mood until hopefully something will come along to change it for the better. I’m not going to spend my birthday wondering how to make things better or collect thoughts about my accomplishments to make myself feel better. It’s just another day on the calendar, but it’s still MY special day. I want to know that cosmically the Universe knows that it’s my birthday and that for a short moment the stars align and all is right in my world.
I found this cool website called futureme.org, a month a go I wrote myself a nice feel good email and today it was in my hotmailbox. I had some pretty nice things to say to myself and it made me happy to read my thoughts from only 1 month ago, before 2010 had entered the world. And now, I am just going to relax with my cat, a good book and just ‘BE’.