I’m not sure if I would be better off with a Southern Italian mother in law telling me every day that I was a no good, lazy so and so wife to her precious son or if I am better off with MY mother in law. Mama certainly has a heart of gold, and so far she has never commented on my laziness or shopping sprees. But, living with her is always an uphill challenge.
A typical day living with Mama goes something like this:
- Wake up to the smell of cigarette smoke
- Emerge from my segregated cell and venture into the kitchen to find Mama smoking like a fiend cooking God knows what on the stove
- After she departs the kitchen I make and eat my breakfast
- Depart to my cell only to re-enter the kitchen 15 minutes later because I smell something burning on the stove (usually whatever she was cooking at 7:00a.m.)
- Follow a trail of cigarette ash on the floor and locate Mama and let her know that lunch/dinner is burnt again!
- Re-enter the kitchen to clean up the mess and wipe the side-board from all the coffee dribbles (Mama doesn’t see very well)
- I venture a shower or bath and usually run out of hot water because Mama regularly fiddles with the hot water tank (i.e. unplugs it for no apparent reason)
- Mama is back in her bed watching TV at an unimaginable decibel while also talking on the phone for hours
- I pack up my gear and head for work, but not without the pre-requisite interrogation of when will I be home, will I be home for lunch, dinner and what if the polizia come back looking for you panic, etc.
- I return home to find the dinner table set for 3 and although I am exhausted, am expected to sit down almost immediately (can I take my coat off first?) to a 3 course meal of something I recognize as being the burnt offerings of that same morning
- I’m told to try the walnut bread she baked and almost break a tooth because she forgot to remove all of the shells first!
- When the coast is clear and the present “company” are still lingering over their desserts I slip away into my celled area and quietly read a book and cuddle with my cat
- I try to sleep and can hear Mama’s TV again, I roll over and talk to my cat and eventually drift off to sleep for another brand new day
So, anyone up for a trade on the MIL front???