In a recent email to my sister I was doing my usual rant and whine about living with Mama (you see I only actually post about 10% of what all goes on at home and my fortunate sister gets the other 90%). My sister, who is older, wiser, and works a lot harder than me, is always quick to give me that firm kick in the behind or a tender ear when I truly need it.
She astutely asked the question “What would Mama say about you if she had a blog!” So, not to disappoint her, I decided to take a crack at it. In my wild imagination, and at the expense of being the butt of my own jokes here is what I think Mama would have to say:
“Helpa! I live-a with-a mia son’sa crazy Americana wife!”
(Si, I noah sheza Canadian, butta itta make-a noah difference to me-a)
This-a wifa ofa my son-a iza Canadian butta she dona speaka French so we canta speak-a. She thinksa I am stupido and dona understand her butta I justa dona wanna speaka to her. She dona eat nothing I cooka and iz toa skinny! She drinka wine-a lika fishes anna dona peek upa her clothes. She dona listen to mia whenna I tell hera to putta ona something warm and thenna she getta sicka and keeps me up all night with a her achoo and hak, hak, hak.
She goa toa place anda come homea with a catta! Sheza crazy! Sheza alergicca to-a catta butt-a dona listen to mia! Nowa when she goa to seea my son ona the sheep, she leaves the catta with mia and the catta jumpa into my bedda!
She also talks toa her computer and dona likea watch tvu! Oh Dio! Whatta am Ia gonna do widda hera? My sona leava her a here alone a with a mia and she takea my cara and she smak it uppa! Nowa I havea bigga dents on botha doors…these Americana persons canta drivea gooda! Mama mia, I tink I willa go have a smokea and calma downa!
Footnote: Mama doesn’t speak English, doesn’t know I have a Blog in her honour, and if she could read it she would probably enjoy the attention! After all, 2,800+ hits, someone must think she is entertaining besides me!